No, seriously.

I was poking around my local Barnes and Noble last night, and I ran across this:


My first reaction was a snicker. I mean, thank goodness Emily Bronte's novel has finally been approved by somebody who matters, you know? Nothing says "immortal classic" like a thumbs-up from the fictional protagonists of what has been aptly described as "the world's longest and most ridiculous perfume commercial".

But then I saw this:


I don't even know what grosses me out more. The blatantly derivative cover art and font? That they chose "Darcy had never been so bewitched by any woman as he was by her" as one of the taglines, implying that there are some kind of supernatural shenanigans afoot? The fact that the back of the book invites readers to compare the Elizabeth-and-Darcy romance with the Edward-and-Bella one? HarperCollins doesn't even publish Twilight, for Pete's sake! Are they that hideously desperate for sales? Do they think teen readers aren't going to notice a slight difference in the writing styles of Stephenie Meyer and Jane Austen? Or do they not care, and just figure a sale's a sale, and truth in advertising be damned?

Now, I can get over this. (Probably.) But what's next? Nonfiction books about wolves offering to teach us about Jacob's full-time furry cousins? George and Martha with new black-and-red cover art featuring one of Martha's roses (tulips?) lying limply across the page? Some combos just don't work, and a Pride and Prejudice comparison with Twilight is one of 'em.

Bleagh. Somebody needs to stop this train; I want to get off.

Labels: Jane Austen, Stephenie Meyer, Such wrongness