50 Ways To Hex Your Lover, by Linda Wisdom

Jazz Tremaine is a centuries-old witch with a centuries-old problem: she can’t shake her feelings for Nikolai Gregorivich, the gorgeous vampire cop she’s had an off-and-on relationship with for three hundred years. Jazz would like nothing better than to be done with Nick forever (or so she tells herself), but when he shows up asking for her help with a serial killer case, she can’t resist getting involved again. Jazz and Nick’s investigation is alternately helped and hindered by an entertaining group of supernatural also-rans: Irma, the fussy, chain-smoking ghost who haunts Jazz’s vintage T-bird, Fluff and Puff, a pair of evil, funnel cake-eating bunny slippers, and Dweezil, Jazz’s sleazy boss, who’ll do anything—or make Jazz do anything—for a quick buck.

The romance featured in 50 Ways to Hex Your Lover isn’t particularly effective—it’s tough to get worked up over the problems of eternally young, beautiful, powerful people, particularly when much of their angst is due to their own pigheadedness—so most of the novel’s considerable charm comes from its supporting characters and Wisdom’s light, glib style. The main characters might be weak, but a few Harry Potter jokes, a taxi service for monsters, and a pair of sentient bunny slippers will carry a story a long way.

Slave: the Cat Star Chronicles, by Cheryl L. Brooks

Clever, fiercely independent Jacinth Rutland is an intergalactic trader on a rescue mission: she’s spent years looking for her kidnapped sister. Her search has lead her to a planet that automatically enslaves all women, so Jacinth decides to buy a slave of her very own—one she can trust to masquerade as her master. Her purchase, Cat, is the only known survivor from a world whose inhabitants were famed for their attractiveness and sensuality. Instantly dazzled by one another, the pair embark on a dangerous quest, hoping to avoid capture, find Jacinth’s sister, and avenge Cat’s home planet.

If you’re willing to check all notions about political correctness and good taste at the door, Brooks’s novel offers plenty of campy, X-rated fun. Unfortunately, the cover art for this novel is a huge missed opportunity. Instead of going for a conventional romance look, a cover like this—with, of course, the gender roles reversed*—would have been absolutely brilliant:



It would have solid a million copies! It’s past time for women to have some sci-fi pulp fiction of their very own, and Brooks’s deliciously silly, kinky, space opera of a novel would have suited a cover like this right down to the ground. However, the “Chronicles” bit in the title implies that this might be the start of a series, so at least we can hope for the future.

*Picture it: a handsome guy in a loincloth swoons at the feet of a huge, hulking alien, while a tough-looking space babe dressed up like Han Solo draws a gun in the background, ready to rescue him.... Come on, you know you’d want to read it.

Labels: Book Reviews, Horror, Pulp Fiction, Romance, Sci-fi