M.T. Anderson's Thrilling Tales: Whales on Stilts!, by M.T. Anderson
Why you should buy a copy of your very own:
It's a goofy send-up of countless children's adventure series, but it works even if you're unfamiliar with the stories he's spoofing. C'mon--who wouldn't enjoy a book about an invasion of mind-controlled whales on stilts with laser eyeballs? (Plus, this book features the funniest pun I've read in years.)
In this scene...
The author is reminiscing about his past adventures with invading sea life. The story is full of chatty, irrelevant asides like this one, so this sample should give you some idea as to whether or not you'd like the book.
"If you have ever been present at a vicious attack by elevated sea animals, you'll know exactly what the people of Pelt felt like. I, for example, was unlucky enough to be working as a housepainter in Minneapolis that terrifying summer of the Manatee Offensive. That was awful. The sky was black with them.
Of course, the manatees weren't on stilts but wore small helipacks. The sound of those little helicopter blades chuddering in the summer air was overwhelming. It takes a lot to lift a manatee. You couldn't hear anything but the sound of them flying in their swarms while people honked their horns or ran for cover, weeping like babies.
I had a friend who had also lived through a starfish attack, and during the manatee assault he pretty near fell apart. I had to keep shaking him. We were hiding in the frozen-food aisle of the Third Avenue Halt'n'Buy. The manatees were buzzing around the parking lot just outside. My friend was getting hysterical. I finally slapped him. He blinked a few times and thanked me. He shook my hand. Then he stood and began, quite methodically, to jump up and down on boxes of Mrs. Paul's Fish Sticks.
Such are the peculiarities of the human psyche."
©M.T. Anderson, 2005