How did I miss this? The 2010 Bulwer-Lytton contest results were released late last month, and this year's winner is (as they always are) a delight:

For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil.

-Composed by Molly Ringle, of Seattle, WA

I'm also really enjoying the Bulwer-Lytton people's newest game, which involves celebrating bad sentences found in real, published books. My favorite?

"The possessiveness in his voice was deep and strong, its triumphant throb cutting through the layers of sexual delight as thoroughly as a knife through warm butter, and it hit her like a deluge of cold water."

Apparently, this comes from a book by someone named Helen Brooks called Husband by Contract. Now, for all I know, the rest of this book is fine... but that sentence? That sentence is a treasure.

Labels: Bulwer-Lytton, contests, satire