Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Churning 'em out

Wow: According to the AP Wire, James Patterson has signed on to write seventeen(!!!) books for Hachette in the next three years--11 adult thrillers and 6 YA books.

I'm not much of a Patterson fan to begin with (I've only read his Maximum Ride books, which have always struck me as mildly entertaining but deeply stupid*), and I shudder to think how this new, break-neck release speed will be reflected in the quality of his work.

*Okay, mostly I hate the way he ends all of his chapters on dramatic pauses, most of which go nowhere. Seriously, there's about a thousand of 'em per book, and they all read like this:

End of Chapter 131:

...and then something hit the front door with a terrifying crash.

Beginning of Chapter 132:

It was the newspaper delivery. We split up the comics and went on with our breakfasts.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Sheryl said...

I have not read James Patterson books yet, but I love your going-nowhere-cliffhanger description! And I do have to wonder how much thought can be put into stories written that quickly.

9:44 AM

 
Blogger Yulianka said...

Glad you liked it! And while I'm making that one up, I promise you: it is totally drawn from life. The books are full of those. Nearly every chapter ends on a "cliffhanger", and there are about 150 chapters per book--each one 1-3 pages long.

And don't even get me started on the idea that Max and her cohorts can fold their massive, massive wings down into a backpack-sized lump, thereby allowing them to pass for human. I might swallow a storyline about a bunch of human-bird hybrids, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

11:27 AM

 
Blogger Sheryl said...

And don't even get me started on the idea that Max and her cohorts can fold their massive, massive wings down into a backpack-sized lump, thereby allowing them to pass for human.
Tragically, I have seen that idea before. It never sits well. It is like saying that I can fold an eagle into a wallet-size so I can conveniently carry my preferred bird of prey in my pocket.

{patting self down while muttering} "Osprey, osprey... that's here somewhere... Aha!" {pull out a flat shape} "No, that's the falcon. Uh oh, I think that I put the osprey in my other jacket."

1:54 PM

 
Blogger Yulianka said...

Hee! I know! Where would the wings go? I realize this shouldn't be my biggest problem with the premise of these books (it's not like this is the only law of physics Patterson is breaking), but those tidy folded-up wings are officially the straw that broke my credulity's back.

2:18 PM

 

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