The Go Fug Yourself ladies have written a snide (but delightfully accurate) post about Kristen Stewart, the star of Twilight, discussing what a wonderful ice-skating routine the series would make.

All I can say is: why do Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison persistently refuse to wash their freaking hair? Look, children: if you're not too cool to star in this tripe, then you're not too cool to shower in honor of its various premieres.