We're rarely happy about Wordcandy movie adaptations, but we've found that if we play it safe and keep our expectations very, very low, we can usually get through them without too much trauma. Unfortunately, we're hearing rumors of several jaw-droppingly terrible movies coming down the pike, including...

A) a film called Malice in Sunderland, which will apparently be a "modern take on the classic fairytale, Alice in Wonderland, set in the North East of England". Even if they hadn't called Alice a fairytale--which it isn't--and hadn't given this book such an unbelievably stupid title, I'd still hate it, because they've cast freakin' Mischa Barton in the main role. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

B) Becoming Jane, a "biographical portrait of a pre-fame Jane Austen and her romance with a young Irishman", starring Anne Hathaway. Didn't they already try sexing up Austen with the dread Mansfield Park adaptation? I'm not hearing good stuff about this one.

C) And, creepiest of all, TMZ is reporting that Tom Cruise is in talks with Ben Stiller to do a "humorous" updated version of The Hardy Boys. C'mon, Tom! We've already got the perfect project for you! What are you waiting for? [Source]

Labels: Movie